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The Bacon Bar

Well, I must apologize to all three of you for not posting in a while. I had surgery 2 weeks ago for a deviated septum, and didn’t feel too much like doing anything except wishing I could start breathing and stop bleeding. Too much information? Well allow me to make it up to you by telling you all about the greatest thing on earth.


That’s right. Go ahead, read it again. I’ll wait.

My friend informed me a while back that such a thing existed in the form of a candy bar. I was skeptical. She was kind enough to find locations near me that sold such a mystical treasure. I chose The Cheese Store of Silverlake, because I’ll take any excuse to go there. Personally, I would have called it The Silver Lake Cheese Shoppe. That way the quality of the wares would be obvious from the old world spelling of the word “shoppe.” I learned that from growing up in Kankakee, IL. There was a place there, called simply “The Shoppe.” You’d probably guess they plied their trade in ice cream floats or sensible hair cuts. You’d be wrong though. It was car stereos.

Anyway, The Cheese Store of Silverlake (or TCSS, as those in the know call it) rocks the friggin Casbah. I don’t care what kind of punk rock, anti-establishment, screw-the-man swearing off of corporate jobs you’ve done in the past, this place will make you wish you made more money. Within seconds of being inside, I am learning about myself. Namely that I will sell my soul to someday be able to walk in this place and plunk down a $95 bottle of Cabernet, half a pound of aged Gouda and a pile of the oldest, hardest, driest salami I’ve ever seen without batting an eye. For now all I could manage was this:

sadly, the $95 cabernet is currently represented by crackers.

sadly, the $95 cabernet is currently represented by crackers.

Just look how they wrap things:

the irresistable wrapping.  I feel European.

the irresistable wrapping. I feel European.

But I digress.

Not only does TCSS carry the bacon bar, they carry other exotic flavors by the same company, Vosges chocolates. There’s a curry bar. There’s a ginger wasabi bar. There’s a Tibetan Goji berry and pink Himalayan salt bar. There’s a kalamata olive and white chocolate bar. I’m digressing again.

the seemingly perfect bar.

the seemingly perfect bar.

Anyway, these are big bars, but they are by no means cheap. Vosges sells them for $7.99 and at the TCSS they were TEN BUCKS. EACH. But I bought one anyway. This is not something you’ll do every day, week, or even month. But for a new experience, I’d say it’s worth it.

Here’s the deal though. I can’t totally rave about this thing, because in my opinion there was one drawback. The bar has real bacon in it, but it’s in little tiny pieces. Remember Nerds candy? Well the pieces are smaller than those. They still manage to be crunchy and have a bacon flavor, but it’s just not what I imagined. I pictured a bar that tasted like chocolate AND bacon in every bite. This is a really good chocolate that occasionally tastes like bacon in miniscule bursts. I think they went to gourmet with it. In an effort not to offend, they interspersed the bacon in acceptable amounts.

can you see the bits?  they\'re tiny.

can you see the bits? they're tiny.

Here’s what I’d do: I would take whole pieces of bacon, fried to a crisp, and dip them in chocolate. Chocolate covered bacon is much closer to what I want than this bacon flavored bar. I would still recommend trying it though. I’m just more interested in some of the other flavors. I’m sure over time I’ll try them all. I’ll report back as I do so.